It's a sad fact, but true. What I was looking forward to having happen to me in the future has come fifty years early. Europe has taken its toll on me and aged me severely. I am ailing.
*Disclaimer: If you don't want to pity me, don't read this. Also, some descriptions are maybe weird and kind of gross (but not really). If you have a problem with that, don't read this.
I blame the cobblestones for my first bout of problems. Though they appear quaint when you see them in pictures and in period films, they are uneven and difficult to walk on, even when in sneakers. It is for this reason that I believe they caused my knee-joint pain. This, combined with constantly walking up and down hills, something I have not had to do since I lived in Duluth, created for sharp pains shooting around under my kneecap like quick bolts of lightning with each step. Luckily, though, the pain passed and my knees feel as though they are back to normal. Or at least they have grown used to the irregularities that come with quaintness and adjusted accordingly.
My second ailment occurred a few weeks ago. After realizing that I "itched all over," I found red bumps on my legs that only appeared after I got home from class, though that had disappeared by morning. At first, it was shingles scare, though after Dad ran through the symptoms with me I realized it was possible. I eventually pinpointed the cause to be an allergic reaction to my new, comfortable-for-lounging sweatpants that have now become my new, useless-unless-I-want-to-itch-uncontrollably sweatpants.
My third ailment is along the lines of shoes. I came here with two pairs of sneakers, and within the first month of my time here, they both decided to fall apart. This left me with very little time to find a replacement pair of everyday shoes. What I found was a pair of teal Converse that fit me length-wise perfectly. In time, I realized that, despite fitting me in every other way, they squinched my baby toes in to the rest of my toes and rubbed against them so it felt like the skin was about to be rubbed off. To give my baby toes a break, I would switch to wearing my Aldo "Inca" (ankle) boots from New York. Good idea in theory, BUT I have worn them so much that I have worn them down so that when wearing them, I am almost stepping directly onto the ground. Therefore, by giving my baby toes a rest from the rubbing, I am instead forcing the skin to be rubbed off the bottoms of my feet. They receive no respite.
My final ailment is most disconcerting to my belief. Six months after having had my wisdom teeth removed, I eat a bagel chip at the wrong angle (this happened on Wednesday), and now, the empty gums where my wise tooth once laid has begun to swell. I have been eating cold things and waiting for it all to subside. Luckily aspirin halts the throbbing and I have high hopes that this will clear itself up, much as the joint pain and allergic reactions stopped themselves (the shoes will be an ongoing problem, I am sure, and I therefore have no hope that it will cure itself). Time will tell. All I can do is be happy that, while 1/4 of my mouth feels similar (though to a lesser extreme) to the way it did when I had my wisdom teeth out, I do not look like a chipmunk this time.
It's a wonder that I've survived this long.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
People Watching: In Transit
When you're in big cities with lots of people, then you have lots of chances to see big things. Or at least the little things people wish you had missed.
Tram moments:
-A man trying to blow his nose the way I've seen skiers do it many times before: press against one nostril and blow hard to get rid of everything you want out of your nose. It didn't go so well for this man, and instead of get all the unnecessary mucus out of his nose and blown away onto the ground, he wound up with a long string of snot hanging out of his nose, swinging around. I'm sure he would have gotten away with it fine if he hadn't been doing it next to a tram stop where a semi-full tram was just pulling up.
-A woman with a kleenex or napkin (maybe toilet paper?) trying to find the best way to wipe her pretty-dog's butt. At least she was cleaning up after it.
Na metro:
-I was riding the up escalator, packed with people, and she was riding the down escalator alone. I was listening to my iPod but could still hear her burp echo through through the escalator transit tunnel. She continued on like nothing had happened.
-A young couple making out on the escalator down to the metro. There was no shame as his hand crept down her back to rhythmically squeeze her butt. They had it timed perfectly so that they came up for air just as it was time to get off the escalator.
Walking home:
-A man peeing into the bushes. He may have been giving me evil stares for gawking, but he was the one peeing in public.
Tram moments:
-A man trying to blow his nose the way I've seen skiers do it many times before: press against one nostril and blow hard to get rid of everything you want out of your nose. It didn't go so well for this man, and instead of get all the unnecessary mucus out of his nose and blown away onto the ground, he wound up with a long string of snot hanging out of his nose, swinging around. I'm sure he would have gotten away with it fine if he hadn't been doing it next to a tram stop where a semi-full tram was just pulling up.
-A woman with a kleenex or napkin (maybe toilet paper?) trying to find the best way to wipe her pretty-dog's butt. At least she was cleaning up after it.
Na metro:
-I was riding the up escalator, packed with people, and she was riding the down escalator alone. I was listening to my iPod but could still hear her burp echo through through the escalator transit tunnel. She continued on like nothing had happened.
-A young couple making out on the escalator down to the metro. There was no shame as his hand crept down her back to rhythmically squeeze her butt. They had it timed perfectly so that they came up for air just as it was time to get off the escalator.
Walking home:
-A man peeing into the bushes. He may have been giving me evil stares for gawking, but he was the one peeing in public.
Seeing the Sights in Radomysl
Apparently this is how Czech men like to dance after they've had their fill of Dudak, Klostermann, Becherovka, and Slivovice. Luckily I did not follow suit.
They showed us a slideshow all about what Radomysl has to offer (they didn't do it specifically for us--they did it for the new people in town). This picture is a bit blurry because I was laughing so hard, but it says, "Garbage--third place in the Czech Republic":
Bagpipes player:
+5 Adorable points:
Mini toilet:
Not quite politically correct:
Muddy shoes:
Jewish "cementary":
Countryside (and Lydia):
They showed us a slideshow all about what Radomysl has to offer (they didn't do it specifically for us--they did it for the new people in town). This picture is a bit blurry because I was laughing so hard, but it says, "Garbage--third place in the Czech Republic":
Bagpipes player:
+5 Adorable points:
Mini toilet:
Not quite politically correct:
Muddy shoes:
Jewish "cementary":
Countryside (and Lydia):
The Week in Review
Thursday night I went to the ballet. There were two cultural events this semester that we got to choose from, and because I am lucky, and in general a very culture-friendly person, I made it to both the Bartered Bride (+1 culture point), which was about a month ago, and Ballet Extrem (+1 culture point), which was Thursday.
After going to the ballet, I was feeling particularly cultural, though looking back on it, I realize that my feelings of cultural advancement are slightly tempered by the fact that I had Burger King for lunch (+1 ex-pat point), [cheap] Mexican for dinner (+1 ex-pat point, +1 smart point--two tacos and a margarita for 110 crowns), and that the first act of the ballet itself was a little less Swan Lake, a little more MTV Video Music Awards (+1 cool, -1 culture). The rest of the ballet, of course, redeemed itself with a highly erotic second act, and a Lion King-esque third act which featured a man dressed up as a baby mouthing Michael Jackson (+2 cool points). After the opera, I headed across the street to Cafe Slavia, a former hang out of Kafka (+1 culture point, +1 cool point), but that has now--supposedly--become a current hang out for tourists (-1 culture point, -1 cool point).
Friday was essentially a lost day, so I will ignore it (-1 cool point).
On Saturday I was forced to go to Radomysl, a small village in southern Bohemia. I was pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. We had to stay with local families, and somehow, thankfully, Tanya and I ended up in the same house (+1 cool point) and, as we figured out just as we were leaving the town (-1 smart point), the father in the family we were staying with was the mayor (+1 cool point). They were an incredibly hospitable family, and had a 19-year-old daughter, Katerina, who spent a lot of time with us. We also got to meet her boyfriend Jakub.
While there we had the option of eating duck--I refused (-1 culture point)--and just ate Czech food in general. Apparently they were celebrating some kind of feast or rural/farmers' harvest holiday, I think. So there was lots of food. As well as a woman playing bagpipes (+1 culture point) I also had the chance to try out the two local beers: Dudak--which translates into "Bagpipes," and Klostermann (+2 culture points, +2 tasty points). After dinner they took us over to a Czech dance where they had a live band playing Czech songs (+1 culture point). I have to admit, the last time I heard so much polka, I was at a Minnesota wedding (+1 culture point). While at the dance, I also had the opportunity to try two other spirits native to the Czech Republic: Becherovka and Slivovice (+2 culture points, +1 tasty point for the Becherovka, -1 tasty point for the Slivovice).
The next morning we got up to an EXCELLENT breakfast, with jogurt, grilled cheese-esque sandwiches that also had ham, ketchup, and mustard on them, traditional Czech pastries, and tea (+3 tasty points). We then went on a comprehensive tour of Radomysl. We toured the nursery school (+1 adorable point) and got paper apples that the children had made for the us (+1 adorable point), we toured the elementary/middle school and got to see people playing ping pong, we walked to the Baroque Church (+1 culture point), we walked down an extremely muddy path (-1 cool point) to the Jewish cemetery--or "cementary" as the people of Radomysl kept spelling it/saying it--and saw Franz Kafka's grandfather's grave (+1 cool point, +1 culture point).
Then we had lunch where I had another chicken schnitzel (+1 culture point) and water--jemne perliva--though my host family wanted to know why I wasn't getting another beer. After lunch, Tanya and I went with Katerina to the next town over, Strakonice where her boyfriend lives, to go watch a puppet show (+1 cool point). Her boyfriend does the lights for it. When we arrived, children were lined up off the stage, waiting for their chance to either sing a song or tell a rhyme, something that they do before the show (+5 adorable points). After the first act, because we were well connected (Katerina's boyfriend's mom also does things at the puppet theatre), we got to go backstage and climb into the rafters to watch the puppeteers working their magic (+2 cool points). We also got to see the people standing to the side of the stage, doing the voices (+2 cool points). Interesting to note: the table the people backstage were sitting at was littered with glasses of beer and an open bottle of wine (+1 cool point, +1 class point). I'm not sure if that's something you'd see backstage at a children's puppet theatre in the States.
After that we had to go and meet up with our class to talk about culture and values and stuff like that (-2 cool points). But we got a bag of Radomysl souvenirs like a book and a DVD (+2 cool points), some kind of cake thing from our teacher's mom (+1 cool point), and Tanya and I came out of the weekend absolutely loaded with different kinds of chocolate (+3 cool points) because our host family wanted us to experience the Czech candy scene.
Totals:
Culture- 10 points
Cool- 16 points
Class- 1 point
Ex-pat*- 2 points
Adorable- 7 points
Smart- 0 points
Tasty- 5 points
And tonight I am taking it easy, maybe watching the second half of the new "Dr. Zhivago" with my host dad. Tomorrow we don't have school because of communism.
*You may have noticed the addition of the "Ex-pat" category. There are times where I think my actions could be interpreted as times where I should lose a culture point, but really I feel that those actions should be interpreted in a more positive way. Thus I am naming them "Ex-pat" points because it gives a more positive spin on something that could otherwise have a negative connotation. These actions are not negative actions, or actions that are actually taking away culture. They are merely actions that are more culturally American than they are culturally Czech.
After going to the ballet, I was feeling particularly cultural, though looking back on it, I realize that my feelings of cultural advancement are slightly tempered by the fact that I had Burger King for lunch (+1 ex-pat point), [cheap] Mexican for dinner (+1 ex-pat point, +1 smart point--two tacos and a margarita for 110 crowns), and that the first act of the ballet itself was a little less Swan Lake, a little more MTV Video Music Awards (+1 cool, -1 culture). The rest of the ballet, of course, redeemed itself with a highly erotic second act, and a Lion King-esque third act which featured a man dressed up as a baby mouthing Michael Jackson (+2 cool points). After the opera, I headed across the street to Cafe Slavia, a former hang out of Kafka (+1 culture point, +1 cool point), but that has now--supposedly--become a current hang out for tourists (-1 culture point, -1 cool point).
Friday was essentially a lost day, so I will ignore it (-1 cool point).
On Saturday I was forced to go to Radomysl, a small village in southern Bohemia. I was pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. We had to stay with local families, and somehow, thankfully, Tanya and I ended up in the same house (+1 cool point) and, as we figured out just as we were leaving the town (-1 smart point), the father in the family we were staying with was the mayor (+1 cool point). They were an incredibly hospitable family, and had a 19-year-old daughter, Katerina, who spent a lot of time with us. We also got to meet her boyfriend Jakub.
While there we had the option of eating duck--I refused (-1 culture point)--and just ate Czech food in general. Apparently they were celebrating some kind of feast or rural/farmers' harvest holiday, I think. So there was lots of food. As well as a woman playing bagpipes (+1 culture point) I also had the chance to try out the two local beers: Dudak--which translates into "Bagpipes," and Klostermann (+2 culture points, +2 tasty points). After dinner they took us over to a Czech dance where they had a live band playing Czech songs (+1 culture point). I have to admit, the last time I heard so much polka, I was at a Minnesota wedding (+1 culture point). While at the dance, I also had the opportunity to try two other spirits native to the Czech Republic: Becherovka and Slivovice (+2 culture points, +1 tasty point for the Becherovka, -1 tasty point for the Slivovice).
The next morning we got up to an EXCELLENT breakfast, with jogurt, grilled cheese-esque sandwiches that also had ham, ketchup, and mustard on them, traditional Czech pastries, and tea (+3 tasty points). We then went on a comprehensive tour of Radomysl. We toured the nursery school (+1 adorable point) and got paper apples that the children had made for the us (+1 adorable point), we toured the elementary/middle school and got to see people playing ping pong, we walked to the Baroque Church (+1 culture point), we walked down an extremely muddy path (-1 cool point) to the Jewish cemetery--or "cementary" as the people of Radomysl kept spelling it/saying it--and saw Franz Kafka's grandfather's grave (+1 cool point, +1 culture point).
Then we had lunch where I had another chicken schnitzel (+1 culture point) and water--jemne perliva--though my host family wanted to know why I wasn't getting another beer. After lunch, Tanya and I went with Katerina to the next town over, Strakonice where her boyfriend lives, to go watch a puppet show (+1 cool point). Her boyfriend does the lights for it. When we arrived, children were lined up off the stage, waiting for their chance to either sing a song or tell a rhyme, something that they do before the show (+5 adorable points). After the first act, because we were well connected (Katerina's boyfriend's mom also does things at the puppet theatre), we got to go backstage and climb into the rafters to watch the puppeteers working their magic (+2 cool points). We also got to see the people standing to the side of the stage, doing the voices (+2 cool points). Interesting to note: the table the people backstage were sitting at was littered with glasses of beer and an open bottle of wine (+1 cool point, +1 class point). I'm not sure if that's something you'd see backstage at a children's puppet theatre in the States.
After that we had to go and meet up with our class to talk about culture and values and stuff like that (-2 cool points). But we got a bag of Radomysl souvenirs like a book and a DVD (+2 cool points), some kind of cake thing from our teacher's mom (+1 cool point), and Tanya and I came out of the weekend absolutely loaded with different kinds of chocolate (+3 cool points) because our host family wanted us to experience the Czech candy scene.
Totals:
Culture- 10 points
Cool- 16 points
Class- 1 point
Ex-pat*- 2 points
Adorable- 7 points
Smart- 0 points
Tasty- 5 points
And tonight I am taking it easy, maybe watching the second half of the new "Dr. Zhivago" with my host dad. Tomorrow we don't have school because of communism.
*You may have noticed the addition of the "Ex-pat" category. There are times where I think my actions could be interpreted as times where I should lose a culture point, but really I feel that those actions should be interpreted in a more positive way. Thus I am naming them "Ex-pat" points because it gives a more positive spin on something that could otherwise have a negative connotation. These actions are not negative actions, or actions that are actually taking away culture. They are merely actions that are more culturally American than they are culturally Czech.
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