Arachnids

I'm going to risk sounding like David Sedaris in the post, a risk I feel I take every time I write a post (Sedaris=Hero). In my defense, however, I am taking an altogether less loving stance in this post than he did in his essay. Also, I'm not just copying him; this is something that has been troubling me for a while.

When I moved in to my room, it came with a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, and three spiders--two in one corner and one in the other. I decided this was something that just came with the territory, one of those things that are still left over from Communism that our program warned us about (along with an early work schedule and punctuality).

"This is fine," I told them. "You can stay here as long as you stay there." I interpreted their silence as acquiescence.

Unfortunately this was not the case. I have been reduced to checking the location of those spiders every evening before bed and every morning before getting dressed. It would not do to put on some shoes and find a spider colony in there.

This breach of contract was not too difficult to deal with, though. It was merely a situation where I was forced to be more watchful.

The spiders decided to wait for me to go to Berlin to make their move on my territory. It was the cowards' advance. I wasn't even there to stake my claim, and still they set up camp in the corner at my bed, about a foot and a half above my head.

When I got back from Berlin yesterday, I found myself staring at a package containing 5 for $25 Victoria's Secret underwear (yes!) and two spiders encroaching on my space. Now I'm not sure if they immigrated to this part of the room from a different location, or if they came from outside my room. Regardless, the treaty had been broken and it was time to take action.

So I killed them. Well, I at least thought I did. Later on in the evening I found one making it's way across my bed. You know as well as I that this will never do.

Naturally I killed that one too.